This is a pretty, brown toilet seat cover:

It is nice and decorative, making the pink bathroom we inherited strangely “up-to-date.”

This is the real reason the pretty brown toilet seat cover is there:

The hot curling iron fell from its perch atop the toilet tank and made a nice little burn mark on the pretty pink toilet seat cover.

So, when you’re having company come over, this is a nice option:

The problem is that these are clearly designed for women. Since I was a boy the women in my life militaristically drilled “Put the toilet seat up!” And, I must admit, when you have little boys in the house you discover very quickly that the women have a point there.

But (For crying out loud!) these toilet seat covers are clearly designed by and for women. Witness:

 

Hey, I’m just trying to do the right thing here, and—in the name of fashion!—I’m being punished for it.

We need a man to invent a boy-friendly toilet seat cover!!!

It’s healthy to have a little fun with your wife now and then, no?